Freedom or Security: The Choice Is Yours
Ego based living is based upon the "need" for security (fear).
Spirit based living is based upon the desire for freedom & creativity (desire).
Which do you choose today? To be held captive by emotional or financial insecurity left continually dependent upon some external source for your support? Or instead, to be left more self-supportive and free to grow and create at your own pace and desire?
Wouldn’t it be so much more joyful to live a life full of creativity instead of reactivity & protection?
Freedom is a choice. We do not have to go anywhere or ask anyone else for it. It is entirely up to us. We can either allow others to continue to manipulate us through negative judgment of us, and succumb to the guilt and shame they attempt to induce in us, or choose to disengage from people-pleasing mode and follow our own inner voice of intuition & creativity.
The spirit lies in creative inspiration & intuition. It communicates through these subtle inner voices that can only be heard when one frees oneself of the "noise" of the "NO" of shame & fear preventing us from hearing the "YES" of intuition and inspiration. "NO" living is living in resistance mode while "YES" living is living in "Flow Mode". "No" mode living is kind of like driving through life with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake pedal - very inefficient.
My journey of recovery is one that aspires for greater levels of freedom. I can measure my spiritual condition by how free and joyous I feel. Am I free of negative self-talk? Am I free from allowing myself to be manipulated from others criticisms and intimidation? Am I free to be me?
If I decide to hold others hostage by insisting that they provide my emotional or financial sustenance for me, I am stealing their freedom through my dependency. These are the 2 biggest problems with our society today: Marriage and Employment. The marriage says I am going to depend upon you for my emotional or financial well-being. Employment says I am going to be dependant upon your financial sustenance for my physical well-being. Both of these situations result in us giving our power away.
While it is true that there can be positive partnerships in both partnerships of marriage and employment without enmeshment, most are manipulative. Either one of the "spouses" (spice?) wants to be emotionally or financially dependant upon the other, or the employer asks for the employee to "sell their soul" and submit to whatever demands the employer wants in return for the dollars he/she gives him/her.
Marital & Occupational dependence are 2 of the greatest ways we give our power away. Recapturing this power means making a commitment to ourselves that we will no longer allow ourselves to be manipulated by guilt, shame or fear. It is a commitment to surrender our need for emotional and or financial insecurity and start becoming dependent upon ourselves for this sustenance. We actually can provide for ourselves no matter what we were conditioned to believe in our childhood full of invalidation, shame, and criticism. We can learn to "detach" from these belief systems once we see how dysfunctional they really are and how we’ve been dis-empowered by holding onto these illusions.
The greatest freedom lies in detaching from the need for others approval. We can learn how to detach from the feeling of rejection others attempt to bestow upon us through their criticisms. We can learn to have the courage to follow our hearts instead of our fears of rejection. We can learn to support ourselves and stop allowing others to manipulate and disempower us by succumbing in shame to their criticisms & blame.
So long as we continue to live like a camel, constantly carrying others emotional burdens upon us or give our power away to our employers by allowing them to dictate how we will spend 1/3 of our lives, we will not be empowered to create ourselves here on planet Earth. We will rob both ourselves and others of the fruits of our creativity. Our relationships and our jobs can strip us of our creativity if we allow them to. Make a decision today to choose your freedom by freeing yourselves of dependence upon others.
Crutches are helpful but are not meant to become legs.
Friendships can be helpful. Enmeshments can be fatal.
The difference between friendships and dependencies are this: Friendships respect each other. Dependants "use" and "rely" upon each other. It is not healthy to become dependant upon your partner. This is not loving as it drains the other. There is a fine line between accepting help and becoming dependent. If we allow dependence to surface, we end up draining the one we are suppose to be loving.
We have a responsibility not only to ourselves but to the other and those we love to not allow dependence upon us to drain us. Enabling dependency drains us of our vitality and others who love us of the loving and creative energy they could be receiving from us.